


The Things That I Wanted, I Had All Along

by tcw



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Coming Out, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Mutual Pining, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:26:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29461245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tcw/pseuds/tcw
Summary: Four years ago, Sebastian went off to college, leaving Sam and Pelican Town behind.When he returned, Pelican Town had changed, but his feelings for Sam hadn't.
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Sam/Sebastian (Stardew Valley)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 62





	The Things That I Wanted, I Had All Along

The day was circled on Sam’s calendar. He had added arrows and exclamation points, but he didn’t label it. Satisfied with his code, he counted down the days until Sebastian arrived back in Pelican Town.

Four years ago, Sebastian and Robin had packed up the family’s old SUV and driven him to Zuzu City Tech, where he was going to study computer programming. Sebastian had balked when his mom and Demetrius had not-so-subtly pushed him with college brochures and talk of scholarships. “I’m not college material,” he said to Sam one winter night on their senior year of college. They were curled up in blankets outside, overlooking the mountain lake. It had to be near freezing, but Sebastian preferred to be outdoors after dark. Sam didn’t mind the vampiric tendencies.

“Why don’t you think you’re college material?” Sam asked.

“I’m, like, not cut out to be a part of the corporate machine, you know?”

Sam tilted his head back and forth, considering. “There are independent web developers and programmers, though, right?”

Sebastian sighed. “Yeah, there are.”

“Seb,” Sam said earnestly, “you shouldn’t hold yourself back because you’re worried about college. You’re _good_ at what you do. I mean, I think you are. I’m not tech-savvy enough to really be able to tell, but other people have told me you’re great at it. I bet getting that degree would make you unbelievably good.”

There was a prolonged silence. Sam stretched out, laying on the ground, head propped up on one arm to look at Sebastian. “I do love programming,” Sebastian said finally.

“And you’d kick ass at college,” Sam said, grinning. He reached out an arm to give Sebastian a push. Seb smiled and shook his head.

“But what about you?” Sebastian asked softly.

“I’ll be here,” Sam said, suddenly hit with a wave of emotion. He choked it back, unwilling to shift Sebastian’s mood. “I’ll be here with my mom and Vincent, and I’ll be cheering for you. And when you come back, I’ll be waiting.”

And, four years later, Sam had held true to his word. Things had changed: when Sebastian left, his dad was still off at war, and Vincent had barely known him. Now he slept down the hall, and he and Vince were inseparable. He’d leaned on Abigail pretty heavily when Seb had moved to the city, but now he didn’t see her as often as he used to, either, since she had married the farmer and moved to the outskirts of town. And now, he worked under Gunther at the library, organizing artifacts and planning shipments. That was certainly an improvement over his old job at JojaMart.

Sebastian had visited home periodically, always around the holidays and usually during the summer, and Sam had been sure to see him every time he returned to Pelican Town. Over the years, they had continued traditions of building snowgoons together and exchanging gifts before the Feast of the Winter Star. Despite these visits and regular conversations over text, Sam felt as if Sebastian had drifted away from him.

He wished he hadn’t.

He missed him.

Sebastian hauled his final box out of the car’s trunk, and Demetrius swung down the door to the trunk with a final, resounding _whump_. Sebastian could have sworn he heard it echo off the mountains around them. “Thanks,” Sebastian said, turning toward the house.

When he had trekked down the stairs to his basement room, he found his mom smoothing his comforter and straightening items on his shelf. “It’s all good,” Sebastian said. “I know I haven’t been here in a while, but my room looks great.” He set the box down on an empty space on the desk. “Just a little dusty,” he added as the box kicked up a fine layer on the surface.

Robin turned to him, squeezing his face between her hands. Sebastian’s cheeks turned red, but he would tolerate this treatment from his mom. She deserved to be happy. “I’m glad to have you home, Sebby,” she said, squeezing him in a small hug.

“Just until I’m able to afford my own place,” he replied. “I’ll be out of your hair soon.”

“I _want_ you here, Seb,” she said. “So do Demetrius and Maru. We’re excited!”

He laughed, trying for levity. “Thanks, mom. Hey, I’m going to do some unpacking and then head out. I’ll be back for dinner.”

“You going to see Sam?” Seeing Sebastian’s nod, she checked her watch. “He’s probably still at the museum. You can probably catch him now.”

He glanced around at the boxes strewn about the room. “Who needs to unpack?” He squeezed his mom’s shoulder. “I’ll see you later!”

He jogged up the stairs and disappeared.

Sam liked to listen to music while he shelved books. He was pretty sure half of the things he was putting away had been checked out by Penny—romances, nonfiction, cookbooks, and fantasy. She read most anything, and he swore she averaged a book a day.

Over the guitar solo playing, he heard a shuffling sound behind him and felt a presence. The library had been empty for about an hour, most of the patrons leaving for the beach. Maybe Gunther needed something.

When he turned, though, it was not his soft-spoken boss standing behind him. Instead, Sebastian was hovering, shifting from foot to foot. Sam ripped his headphones from his ears, leaving them swinging in his fist.

“Hey,” Seb said. “I, uh, didn’t want to bother you—”

“Not possible,” Sam said, an infectious grin spreading over his face. He reached out and gripped Sebastian in a tight hug, phone and headphones still in hand. He could hear the tinny rock music playing as he held Sebastian close. “I can’t believe you’re back for good.”

“At least for now,” Sebastian said softly as Sam loosened his grip.

“Hey.” Sam pointed at him. “You’re not allowed to talk about leaving me again for at _least_ another week. Let me have this good thing, okay?”

“Fine.” Sebastian raised his hands in defeat. Sam mentally cataloged him, his expression, everything. His cheeks were flushed, probably from the walk down the mountain, and he held himself more comfortably than he used to when they were teenagers. Every time Sebastian had visited home, Sam noticed he became more and more self-possessed. He still favored dark clothing and a quiet, sarcastic tone, but he had slowly come out of his shell.

“So,” Sebastian asked, “what time do you get off of work?”

Sam had practically forgotten he was still on the clock. “Um, soon. Stay here, okay? I just need to finish shelving some books, and then I can walk you, uh, to wherever you’re going. Anywhere, I’ll walk you anywhere.”

Sebastian chuckled and stretched out in one of the library’s wooden chairs. A ray of late afternoon sun brushed his black hair and dark clothes, Sam noticed. “No rush,” Sebastian said. “No plans or obligations, you know? I’m taking the week off. I’m all yours, if you want.”

Sam’s cheeks heated. “Yes. Yes, definitely.”

As he walked from shelf to shelf, he could feel Sebastian watching him. He would ask periodic questions of Sam, who caught him up on the goings-on of the valley. _Yes, my whole family is good. Yeah, I think Abigail and the farmer are a good match, too. She seems really happy. Nah, Elliot still hasn’t finished that novel, but I think he and Leah are starting to get serious._

“What about you?” Sebastian asked as Sam was nearing the end of his shelf of books. “How have you been? You look, um, you look good. Who have you been hanging out with?”

Sam supposed he might have changed physically, too, since Sebastian had last seen him. He’d bulked up a bit, a result of his dad’s weights and spending more time outdoors. “Ah, Shane, mostly. We knew each other from working at Joja together, and he’s really cleaned up his act. Doesn’t drink as much, spends all his time working for his aunt at her ranch. He’s okay when you get to know him. We throw around a gridball sometimes. Oh, and he bred these crazy chickens!” As he chattered on, he shot off a text on his phone.

Sebastian crossed his arms. “You living up to your full jock potential now?” His tone was light, but Sam wondered if it hid a bit of insecurity.

“Nah,” Sam said, kicking his foot gently as he walked by with a final book. “You know I’m a nerd at heart. Plus, I don’t want to come for Alex’s brand.” Finished with his job, he brushed his hands together with a sense of finality. “Hey,” he said, “have you kept up with Abigail this last month or so?”

Sebastian shook his head, confused. “Not really. I was a little busy with exams and graduation, you know? Why do you ask?”

Sam shrugged. “No reason. Give me a sec, okay? Let tell Gunther I’m about to head off. Then I have a surprise for you.”

Sebastian followed Sam from the library, already finding comfort in Sam’s familiar energy. People underestimated Sam because he was a happy-go-lucky guy, but he was excellent company, smart and witty, and he balanced out what Sam called Sebastian’s “broody” moods.

“You really aren’t going to tell me what this surprise is?” Sebastian sulked.

“You’ll find out in ten minutes. And it’s worth the wait, Whiny McWhinerston.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Sebastian muttered, quietly enough that Sam _probably_ couldn’t make out the words. Sam, who was trailing a bit ahead of him, whistling as if he didn’t have a care in the world. Immediately, Sebastian had noticed some changes in Sam. He had always been taller and bulkier than Sebastian, but now his shoulders were broad and _muscled_. When Sebastian noticed, he had frozen in place and just looked at Sam for a moment as he hummed to music and worked in the library. Sam’s thicker arms had made Sebastian’s stomach flip, bringing up some old feelings that he had been quick to tamp down.

As they walked through Pelican Town, Sam waved to passersby. Alex and Haley were at the ice cream stand, and Penny was reading under a tree. “Not much has changed,” Sebastian commented.

“Sure it has!” Sam said easily. “Maybe you’ve just changed the most.”

Sebastian cringed, unsure how to answer. He didn’t want Sam to think he was arrogant, lording his new degree over him.

“For the better!” Sam added quickly. “You’ve changed for the better. You’ve got a fancy computer degree! And I really like what you’ve done with your hair. You know, no big deal, just those two things.” Sam chattered when he was nervous or when silences stretched too long.

“You like my hair longer?” Sebastian asked to change the subject. He’d let the asymmetrical hairstyle grow out a bit, and now it hung looser.

“I… yeah. I like anything you do with your hair.” From some, that might have been a non-answer, but coming from Sam, it seemed genuine.

Sebastian jumped when Sam abruptly turned. “Hi, Betsy! Hi, Mabel!” he shouted, waving enthusiastically to the cows on Marnie’s farm. They had trekked past Sam’s house and were in the forest, heading north.

“Your new friends?” Sebastian nodded at the cows.

“Just the two most important women in my life,” Sam said seriously. “Don’t tell my mom, though.”

Sebastian felt a warmth flood his chest. Although Sam was talking about cows, he quietly enjoyed the affirmation that there was no _other_ woman in Sam’s life. _Stop it_ , he chastised himself. _Don’t go down this road, idiot. And not over some comment about cows, you fuck._

“Almost there!” Sam called from up ahead. “You still haven’t visited the old farm, have you?”

“Nah,” Sebastian responded, but the word died in his throat as he took in the sight before him. The old farm was certainly not an overgrown husk any more. Instead, there was a large barn and coop off to one side and an enormous garden on the other, all traced by stone paths and iron fences. Animals roamed about, and the place looked incredibly alive.

“Abigail’s new home is pretty sweet, huh?” Sam asked. He was climbing a fence, seemingly trying to pet a pig on the other side. At least the pig was obliging. It huffed as Sam patted its head.

“Sam?” a voice called from the garden. “Is that you?”

“Ahoy!” Sam called, exuberant as always. “Bea! What’s up? I brought somebody for you to meet!”

A figure stepped from the garden wearing a large straw hat, and Seb assumed they were the farmer that seemed to have become a community staple. It occurred to him that they were Abigail’s spouse of about a year now, and he had yet to meet them. Whoops.

“Bea, this is Sebastian. Sebastian, Bea.” Sam said when they had finally crossed paths. “Bea inherited the farm from their grandfather, and now they provide the town with a steady stream of mayonnaise and blueberries.”

Bea stuck out a hand, and Sebastian shook. “Nice to meet you,” he said. “Uh, I know you’ve kept my mom busy with all these buildings.”

They grinned. “Robin has been the biggest help. She must be stoked that you’re home.”

Sebastian smiled. “Very. I promised her I’d be home for dinner.”

Sam checked his watch. “Oh, shoot. In that case, we’d better get a move on. Is Abigail inside?” He gestured to the large farmhouse.

“Yeah,” Bea said. “I think Abby’s—”

“We’ll find her!” Sam said brightly, swinging an easy arm around Sebastian’s shoulders. “Thanks, Bea!”

As soon as Sam knocked and Abigail swung open the farmhouse’s door, Sebastian realized what the surprise was. Cradled in her arms was a bundle with a small face peeking out. Sebastian froze, taking in the sight before him.

“Oh shit,” he said slowly. “Abigail, are you a _mom_?”

“Shh,” Sam said, covering the sides of the baby’s head with his large hands. “Language, Seb. Uncle Sam won’t let little Lily hear that sort of thing.” He scooped the baby from Abigail’s arms, peppering her little face with kisses.

Abigail turned to him, eyes sparkling. “Seb, you’re _back_.” She gripped him in a hug.

“I’m back, and you’re a _mom_?” He said, voice muffled because she was still gripping him. As she eased back, he said, “Sorry, I’m just having trouble getting over this one.”

Abigail laughed, cupping the top of her baby’s head with her hand. “Yeah, hard to believe, huh? But Bea is the best partner in the world, and, I don’t know, it just felt like the right time. Plus, lil’ Lil has made our life a thousand times better. And Sam is the uncle of the year.”

Sam was making funny faces at the baby, who was laughing and reaching her hand toward him. He pretended to eat the hand, making it—her—squeal with laughter. Sebastian’s face flushed, and he felt like some large beast had a grip on his chest. He had to turn away.

Abigail raised an eyebrow at him and slipped her hand into his, giving it a squeeze. Although Sam was his closest friend, Abigail had been a longtime confidante, and she seemed to be reading his mind.

“I’m stealing Seb for a sec!” she announced. “Seb, have you ever seen a dinosaur that lives in a coop?”

Before he had a chance to answer, she was hauling him out the door while pointing a finger at Sam. “Take care of my daughter, got it?”

“You mean my niece,” Sam replied, lifting her closer to his face. “See the familial resemblance?”

“She’s adopted, and we aren’t related,” Abigail deadpanned. “But you’re right, all of her good genes probably come from your side of the family.”

Sam grinned.

Abigail had not let go of Sebastian’s hand, and she really was dragging him toward the coop. She winked at Bea as they passed them.

“I’m guessing Lil is having Uncle Sam time?” Bea called.

“Yeah. The little traitor always smiles the most when he’s here! Shameful!” Abigail shook her head dramatically.

When they arrived in the coop, Sebastian realized that Abigail had not oversold its contents—small, lizard-like beasts roamed inside. Abigail waved a hand casually as Sebastian examined one. “Yeah, they’re the secret behind Bea’s special mayonnaise. Hey, you want to take some home?” She tossed a container in his direction. _Pine Hollow Farm_ , it read. A speckled egg decorated the front of the container.

“So,” she said, leaning against a wall. “Sam, huh?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” he held up the hand that wasn’t filled with dinosaur mayonnaise. “You think you get to interrogate me now? When you didn’t tell me you’re a _mom_?”

Abby rolled her eyes. “C’mon, Sebby, we’re new parents. Plus, like I said, Lil was adopted. She’s still got plenty of time to get to know her Uncle Seb. Don’t stress.”

“Sorry, sorry.” He perched atop the feeder, which was stuffed with hay. He swore the dinos were glaring at him. “It’s just hard to believe. I got a degree, and you got a whole _human_.”

“Yeah, she’s kind of the best.” Abigail smiled proudly. “Now spill!”

“What do you want to know?”

“I _saw_ how you looked at Sam with that baby, Seb.”

“It was a cute baby!” he said defensively.

“She _is_ a cute baby, but considering you just referred to her as ‘it,’ I’ve got a feeling it wasn’t her you were fawning over.”

Sebastian chewed his lip. “I never even came out to him, you know,” he said quietly.

“What?” Abigail said, gripping his arm. “Seb, he’s your _best friend_.”

“I know, I know. It’s just… you were the only person I came out to in high school, and the opportunity never came up to tell him while I was in college. I didn’t see him so much, you know?”

Abigail sighed. “You know that Sam would only be happy for you if you told him.”

“I don’t know. If I were him, I would think to myself, _huh, I wonder who Seb had a big, gay crush on for all those years?_ ”

Abigail glared at him.

“That was a _Mean Girls_ reference,” Sebastian added helpfully.

“I _know_ it was a _Mean Girls_ reference. You’re deflecting. Sam is a decent guy. You should at least tell him because he’s your best friend. He’ll be happy for you.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “It’s Sam, so he’ll try to be all supportive, and he’ll ask if I have a boyfriend.”

Abigail raised an eyebrow. “ _Do_ you have a boyfriend?”

“No.”

“And when did you have your last boyfriend?” She was looking at him pointedly.

“Uh… I went on dates in college!”

“There’s a difference between a date and a hook-up, and I think you were having the latter.”

“Hmph.”

“And I’ve got a feeling I know _why_.”

“Abigail,” Sebastian said with a warning tone.

“It’s awfully hard to get together with someone when you’re still hung up on somebody _else_.”

“ _Abigail_.”

She raised her hands innocently. “Sorry, sorry.”

Sebastian went quiet. His darkest secret was that he would close his eyes and imagine blond hair and hazel eyes during the aforementioned hook-ups.

“I’m going to get over him. It’s kind of a cliché to be in love with your straight best friend, don’t you think?”

“In _love_ ,” she repeated. “Huh.”

Mentally, Sebastian kicked himself. “You know what I mean. It’s stupid, but I still fucking think about that city girl he dated. What was her name? Bella? Delia?

“Um, maybe Clara? Or Claire? I don’t know, he was with her for like a month, and I never met her.” Abigail shrugged. “I’m here for you no matter what you do, Seb.”

“Thanks, Abby,” Sebastian said. “Let’s head back to the farmhouse. I don’t think these dinosaurs like me very much.”

“Oh, don’t worry, they’re sweethearts. Look, that one is my favorite! His name is Frodo.”

Sam had a few clear-cut rules when it came to Sebastian. One of them was simple: don’t wake him early. Preferably, don’t wake him until noon. If you tried to wake him before ten, he would probably threaten violence.

On a shimmering, sticky summer day, Robin had clearly violated this commandment. Sam had come home from work that afternoon to find Sebastian laying on his bed, one arm flung dramatically over his face. Sebastian had been home for over a week, and he met up with Sam most days.

“Are you awake?” he asked, quietly enough that he hoped he wouldn’t disturb a sleeping Sebastian.

“Unfortunately,” Sebastian responded.

“You sick?”

“The opposite,” Sebastian replied. “For some reason, my mom scheduled me an early appointment at Harvey’s clinic. Doesn’t she know waking up at eight in the morning harms my health anyway?”

Sam rolled his eyes but chuckled, turning away from Sebastian to change into a ratty band tee. He made a bit of an effort on his appearance at the museum, which was to say he didn’t wear clothing with visible tears. All bets were off at home, though.

“And you only made it as far as my bed after the appointment?”

Sam turned, and Sebastian stuttered, “Um, yeah? I can’t be expected to climb a mountain in my time of need.”

“You’re so funny,” Sam said, picking up his guitar. He sat on the floor, back against the foot of his bed, so Sebastian was behind him. He strummed slow chords. Although he preferred to play using an amp, he was pretty sure Seb would throw him out of his own room. Instead, he played low and slow, moving from one song to another, eventually closing his eyes. He was so, so calm, he realized, calmer than he had felt in recent memory.

Sam was unable to tell how much time had passed, but he heard rhythmic breathing behind him. In the long-term, Sam had had never left home before. He was grateful to live with his family and spend so much time with his little brother. But, in that moment, he felt a sense of belonging, a sense of home, that he had been missing for a while.

Sebastian had amassed several independent programming jobs to keep him afloat during the summer. Better than afloat, he supposed. He was saving enough that he would probably be able to put a down payment on a modest house in the next few months. It wasn’t much, but he was grateful to have gone to college. He probably made double what he would have without the degree.

He felt he was making a solid effort to be productive. However, there were certain distractions in Pelican Town. Namely: Sam.

The day before, he had immediately felt drawn to Sam’s house after his doctor’s appointment. It would be wrong to pass through the center of town without visiting, right? And it didn’t matter that he was still at work. His mother simply waved and invited him in. Then he’d arrived home, Sebastian had drifted to sleep to the sounds of his guitar, and he awoke over two hours later.

Hair mussed, he glared at Sam, who was still plucking notes on his guitar, although they didn’t make up any discernable song or melody. “You let me sleep for ages!” Sebastian accused after checking his watch.

Sam rose finally, shaking out his legs as if they were stiff. “Hey, you’re the one in _my_ bed. I wanted you to rest. You seemed tired. Plus, a sleeping Sebastian makes a pretty sick audience for all my guitar solos.” Before putting down the guitar, he gritted his teeth and pretended to shred a guitar solo. Sebastian threw a pillow at him. Laughing, Sam caught it.

Sam sat next to him on the bed, clutching the pillow to his chest.

“You look serious,” Sebastian commented.

“Yeah, your nap time gave me a lot of thinking time.” Sam turned and made eye contact with him. “It was a little weird seeing Abby with her baby, right? I mean, don’t get me wrong, Lil is my _life_. But we’re so _old_ now, huh? Vincent is almost ten, you’re a whole adult with a whole job, and all of us are doing our own things.” The thought made Sam melancholy.

Sebastian put a hand on Sam’s arm. If he were someone else, he would probably offer silly comforts, but he wasn’t going to lie to Sam. “Yeah, I’ve been thinking about that a lot, too.” His voice was rough. “It’s weird to come back to Pelican Town now. It feels like everyone changed around me while I was off at college.”

“But we’re good, right?” Sam asked.

“Yeah, we’re good.”

“I’m afraid you’ll leave me again,” Sam said quietly.

Sebastian put both hands on his arm and then squeezed gently. “Yeah,” Sebastian said.

“What do you mean, ‘yeah?’ You’re the one who does the leaving.”

“I mean yeah,” Sebastian said. “It sucks to be away from you. I hate that shit. Let’s try not to do it again.”

Sam met his gaze, eyes shining, and then a worried expression came over him. “Shit, no, sorry. I meant, um, you should go. If you need to. You should go if you need to for, like, jobs. Or even if you want to. Uh, sorry, I had this whole plan about supporting you. You know I’m kind of bad at remembering things like that.”

Remembering the conversation made Seb smile fondly. Admittedly, he liked it when Sam said he wanted him around. He thought he needed to keep his distance from Sam when he first came back because every time he let himself get too close again, he knew he was setting himself up for disappointment. And it wasn’t fair—Sam was a good friend. He didn’t know how he affected Sebastian.

The next morning was a Friday, and he was determined to make progress on his projects. After an hour, though, his phone rang.

The caller ID read _SAM_.

Against his better judgment, Sebastian picked up.

“Hey!” said the voice on the other end. “Long time no talk!”

“Uh-huh,” Sebastian said, continuing to type pointedly on his computer. “What’s up?”

“Not much, thanks for asking! So, uh, I’ve got a request.” Sam had a voice he used when he was trying to convince Sebastian to do something. When they were teenagers, it had resulted in some of the biggest pranks Pelican Town had ever seen. And Sebastian was always quick to be convinced by Sam.

“What’s that?” Sebastian asked flatly.

“So, you know how Vincent likes to go to the beach during the summer?”

“Sure.”

“Well, usually my dad goes with him and Jas, but he’s busy. And Vince asked me to go with him instead. So how does a beach day sound?”

“I hate swimming.”

“Yes, but, Seb, you like _me_. If _I_ asked you to swim, wouldn’t you?”

Yes. “No.”

“Please, Seb? I want to get in all the time with Vincent I can. Plus, you _know_ my mom won’t let him near waves without an adult there.”

Sebastian laughed in confusion. “Sam, you don’t need me there to help you watch your brother.”

“You know I only qualify as, like, half an adult at best. Please come? Vince needs your supervision, and I need your company.”

“Fine.” Sebastian sighed. “I’ll meet you in thirty minutes.”

Sam lounged on a beach chair as Vincent and Jas made sandcastles close to the shoreline. Jas seemed to be dictating a complicated series of instructions while Vincent tried to keep up. The castle already had a moat and was lined with spiky sea urchins.

Behind them, Shane and Alex tossed a gridball back and forth. Sam liked Shane, and Alex had become more laidback over the years, so there was a tentative friendship between the three of them. Earlier, though, Shane had tried to sit in the spare chair Sam had brought, but Sam had shooed him away, saving it for Sebastian. Sam had stretched out by himself, lazily watching his brother and Jas.

“Hey,” a sullen voice said from behind Sam. He felt someone gently flick the back of his bucket hat. “What’s with the hat?”

Sam turned to see Sebastian, who was wearing black swim shorts and a white t-shirt. The image of Seb on the beach felt out-of-place, like watching a cat swimming. “I don’t want to get sunburned!” Sam responded. “Plus, I like the hat.”

“The hat’s a bold fashion choice, to say the least,” Sebastian said, looking skeptical. “But I’ll withhold judgment since I think I used half a bottle of sunscreen before I left the house.”

Sebastian continued talking—something about his work being interrupted—as he took off his shirt, and Sam felt himself short-circuit for a moment.

_A tattoo._

Sebastian had gotten a tattoo.

The piece covered nearly his entire chest, and it featured gears and cogs, like the inner workings of a machine, covered in foliage. There were finer details that Sam couldn’t quite make out, too. The shape spread over Seb’s chest and crept toward his collarbones. It was beautiful.

Sebastian noticed what he was looking at and chuckled, perhaps self-consciously. “I forgot you hadn’t seen it yet,” he said. “It’s been almost a year since I got it. Um, you like it?”

“Oh! Yes, uh, yeah. It’s cool! Is it, like, a machine?”

Sebastian scratched his head self-consciously. “It’s an homage to _Solarion Chronicles_. Can you tell? I told the artist exactly what I wanted, and he included all these little details. I even added this sword for your warrior character and the magic ring for my wizard.”

 _Sam’s warrior_. Sam felt his chest warm.

“Seb, really, that’s so cool. From far away, it just looks like an art piece, but up close, I can totally tell what it is. And you put so much thought into it! I love it. It’s great.” Sam realized he was rambling, but he wasn’t sure he could stop himself.

“Thanks,” Sebastian said, half turning away from him to look out at the ocean. “Thanks, Sam.”

“Heads up!” Alex shouted from behind them. Sam whipped around and, reflexively, caught the gridball flying toward them, on course to hit Sebastian square in the back of the head.

“Sorry,” Alex said, jogging toward them. “Shane can’t catch to save his life.”

“Sorry!” Shane hollered from farther back. “Alex needs to work on his ball control!” Alex shot him a rude gesture, and Sam gave him a small push.

“Hey, not with the kids here!” he protested. He lobbed the ball gently at Alex, who caught it. “And try not to injure Seb. He just got back. No need to send him to the ER.”

“Hey-ey!” Alex drew out the word. “Sebastian’s back in town! And he’s all grown up! And tatted!” He reached out his hand, which Sebastian slapped in greeting, expression impassive. “You look good, man.” Sam fought the urge to step in front of Sebastian protectively, which was confusing. Alex had become pretty decent, and he was probably genuine. Yet, Sam supposed his first instinct was always to protect Seb.

“Thanks,” Sebastian said, voice betraying little emotion. “You good, Alex?”

“Yeah, man, yeah. Been hanging out more with these two since you left.” He jerked his head toward Shane and Sebastian. “Hey, you used to be good at pool, right?”

“Yeah, I used to be undefeated.” Sebastian grinned at Sam.

“Cool, we should play sometime at the saloon. Sam convinces me or Shane to play, like, every Friday night, but I swear he never gets any better.”

Sam rolled his eyes, but he didn’t attempt a rebuttal. He _wasn’t_ very good.

“Oh, yeah, okay. Maybe next weekend.”

Sam chucked. “You might regret that, Alex. I’ve played you both, and _I_ might not be very good, but I think Seb can wipe the floor with you.” Alex glared. Sam was totally aware the comment would get under his skin. He was competitive to the core.

Sebastian raised his hands innocently. “Sam, don’t jinx it,” he said.

“Guess we’ll see at the saloon. Later, boys,” he said, raising the gridball in a salute and trotting away. “Hey, get a move on!” he called to Shane, who was checking his phone. Sam was pretty sure he heard Shane mutter something along the lines of _pretty boy can’t throw_.

Sam and Sebastian turned back towards the ocean, and Sebastian sorted his things, tossing them to the side of the chair Sam had saved for him. “I think that’s the most Alex has ever said to me,” Sebastian remarked.

“They’re not so bad,” Sam said. “Alex used to be kind of shitty, Shane too, but I think they’ve grown since you left for school. Plus, they kept me sane while you were away.”

“Couldn’t replace me, though.”

“No, couldn’t replace you.”

Sebastian settled in his chair. Sam joined him, opening the cooler he had brought. “So,” he explained, “let me explain the snack spread. I cut up these apple slices, and I sprayed them with a little lemon juice, so they shouldn’t get brown. There’s hummus, too, but I didn’t know whether you would like them with carrots or pita, so I brought both. Save a few carrots for Vincent, though. He’s got to eat a vegetable or two on my watch. There’s Joja Cola for me, flavored waters for you—blueberry and citrus, and juice boxes for Vince and Jas.”

Seb was smiling, quietly amused at Sam’s preparation, or, perhaps, overpreparation.

“What?” Sam asked.

“Nothing.” Seb chuckled. “Thanks, Sam. You think of everything.”

“Nah.” Sam settled back in his chair, closing his eyes. “I just know you guys well. And,” he blinked one eye open conspiratorially, “I’m passionate about snacks.”

Seb laughed and gave his shoulder a gentle shove, turning away to retrieve something from his bag. Sam examined him as he turned away. His gaze lighted on Sebastian’s skin, nearly white in the sun. His muscles were just defined enough to be visible, and Sam watched as they flexed by his shoulder blades, tracing up to his neck. As Sam considered Sebastian, his physicality, the contrast between dark hair and pale skin, something stirred low in his stomach. When Sebastian turned forward again, holding a newly acquired book, Sam shut his eyes once more.

Sebastian read while Sam dozed in the bright early afternoon sun, one hand flung over his face, pressing the brim of his hat against his forehead. Seb kept one eye on the kids, but they were content to build sandcastles and frolic in the shallows, not activities Seb considered particularly dangerous. Still, he watched because he knew Sam trusted him, or else he wouldn’t have allowed himself to nap.

Seb munched on apple slices, offered the kids juice boxes, and allowed his gaze to wander over to Sam, just not too frequently. It was quiet and understated, maybe even domestic. And Sebastian, with all his cold, contrarian heart, was disgustingly happy.

After about half an hour, Vincent grew restless, and Seb noticed him shooting glances at Sam. After growing even antsier, Vincent went down into the waves and filled his biggest pail with water. He walked it slowly up the shore towards Sam, and he shot Seb a glance filled with mischief. Sebastian placed a finger over his lips to indicate his silence, but he held his book farther away from Sam.

With a yell and a heave, Vincent tossed the water over Sam. Jas exploded into giggles, and Sam spluttered, rising from the beach chair. He caught on immediately, though, and scooped Vincent into the air.

“Revenge!” Sam shouted as he ran into the ocean, Vincent still in his arms. Vincent laughed and squirmed in his arms but made no real effort to escape.

Sebastian was so absorbed by the scene in front of him, he didn’t notice Abigail approaching from behind.

“He’s a simple man,” she intoned in a false announcer voice, “he sees Sam covered in sea foam, and he looks.”

Sebastian groaned, whirling around. “I swear you’re spying on us.”

“What’s there to spy on?” she asked innocently. Lily was cradled in her arms, wearing a baby swimsuit and a little felt hat, sunscreen smeared over her face. Abigail sat down in Sam’s unoccupied chair, bouncing the baby on her knee.

“Surprised you came,” Sebastian said.

“Sam texted me,” Abby replied. “Plus, I’m not, like, a house-bound spouse. How weird would that be?”

“Speaking of, how’s Bea?”

“They’re good! We were just saying you and Sam should come over for dinner. Bea’s a good cook, and I make a mean Pillsbury cookie.”

Seb wished for a world where he and Sam could visit Abby and Bea as a couple. Nonetheless, he said, “Yeah, that’d be great.”

“Abby Abs!” Sam hollered as he jogged up the beach. The bucket hat was still atop his head, absolutely soaked. He removed it and placed it delicately onto Sebastian’s bent knee despite Seb’s look of obvious distaste. Quickly, Seb flung it onto Vincent’s towel.

“Hi, Lily Pad,” Sam said, grabbing her from Abby’s arms. “Are you a little water baby?” He planted a kiss on her forehead. Seb’s heart flipped. He wasn’t even that into kids, but he was into _Sam_ with kids. Lily babbled and reached for his face. Sam pretended to eat up her hands, making _nom nom_ noises.

“Stupid fucking cute,” Sebastian muttered.

“What was that?” Abigail asked, looking at him amusedly.

“I said, um, you want some hummus?”

When the evening came, Sam offered to walk Sebastian home. He was prolonging the day, hesitant to allow it to end. He couldn’t have asked for a better day—splashing in the water with Vincent, Lilly, and Abby, Sebastian watching them from the shore. Seb had even joined Jas, who wasn’t much for wading into the water, in building sandcastles. Jas was more intellectual and patient than Vincent, and Sebastian was a surprisingly natural match for her, showing her how to stack packed sand to avoid the castle collapsing. While Sam gave Vincent piggyback rides in the water, Seb and Jas had methodically built a castle that rose well above Sam’s hip. At the end of the day, the kids had run full force at the castle, leveling it.

After dropping Vincent off at home, Sam and Sebastian began the hike up the mountain. Sam’s sessions with his father’s weights were clearly starting to benefit him. The walks to Sebastian’s house had left him winded when they were younger, but that was no longer the case.

“You’re not half bad with kids,” Sam joked, nudging Sebastian.

“Nah, I don’t think kids like my vibe. I’m too quiet and weird. Jas just respected my sandcastle building abilities.”

“Jas is, well, a little quiet and weird. I think one time, she fed a crawfish to a cow. Regardless, she had a great time with you today. I could tell.”

Seb turned away, but Sam was pretty sure he was smiling. “Thanks. When we were kids, we threw a lot of shit down the mountain. Maybe feeding a crawfish to a cow is just the new version of that.”

“You’re right,” Sam said seriously. “It’s all in the name of science.”

Sebastian gave a full-on laugh. “Damn, we should have told my mom that back in the day when she got mad at us for throwing pumpkins.”

Sam sighed wistfully. “Pumpkins exploded beautifully. Second only to watermelons.”

“God, we were nightmares.”

“Totally,” Sam agreed. “May Vincent be better than we were. May my future kids be _way_ better than we were.”

They were passing the community center, then. Sebastian turned contemplative. “You want kids one day?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Sam said, the answer so straightforward he didn’t have to put any thought into it. “Of course.”

“You’ll be the greatest dad,” Sebastian said, his tone difficult to decipher. If Sam hadn’t known better, he would have thought he sounded sad. “But, I mean, would you stay in Pelican Town? Are you going to move eventually?"

Sebastian was asking a question that Sam himself had contemplated for a while. “I don’t know,” he said after a pause. “It’s hard to say. I want to stay here for as long as I’m able to. I’m, um, I’m sort of afraid to leave home for the time being. My dad has been back for about three years, and every day I wake up worried that the military will call him back again. I feel like I can’t leave my mom and Vince, you know? Because what if my dad has to leave and they need me?”

“Oh.” They were just a dozen yards from Sebastian’s house, and he stopped and turned to Sam. “Sam, that’s really heavy.”

Sam turned his gaze downward. “Oh, sorry, yeah. It might be.”

“Shit, Sam, don’t apologize.” Sebastian put a hand on his shoulder, and Sam met his gaze again. “I guess I took it for granted that your dad was back. But you’re right—the idea of him leaving again? That’s terrifying.”

“Thanks for understanding, Seb.” Sam rubbed the back of his head self-consciously. “I don’t really, um, talk about that with anybody. I just don’t want to stress anyone out, you know?”

“Dammit, _Sam_.” Before he fully comprehended what was happening, Sebastian had caught him in a tight hug. Sam sank into it, holding him tightly. “You know what stresses me out?” Seb said, voice a little muffled by Sam’s shirt. “When you try to solve everyone’s problems for them. I want you to put _you_ first.”

Sebastian released him, and Sam laughed weakly. “You’re right, Seb.”

“I always am.” Sebastian sounded adamant. “I’ll talk to you soon, okay? Good night, Sam.”

“Night, Seb,” Sam said softly, waving goodbye as he turned and began to descend the mountain.

The next Friday, Sam awoke to a text from Alex.

 _Are you and your boy still down to lose at pool tonight?_ it read.

 _You talk big game_ , Sam wrote. _I’ll ask him_.

He decided to wait at least an hour before contacting Sebastian, knowing that it would be fruitless to expect a response before at least ten in the morning. He puttered around the house for a while, making a fresh pot of coffee for his mom and dad and cutting apple slices for Vincent, which he gave to his younger brother while he was attempting to build a house of cards in the living room. Vincent had always had a knack for entertaining himself. Sam ruffled his hair as he left him to his own devices.

Finally, at ten on the dot, Sam called Sebastian.

“Hello?” Sebastian answered with a yawn. “Sam?”

“Morning!” Sam said brightly. He tried to sound innocent so that Sebastian wouldn’t fault him for waking him.

“Mmmphgh,” Sebastian groaned. Sam could hear him rolling back into his pillow. “Why’d you call?”

“Alex wanted to know if you’re good to play pool tonight. And I think it’d be cool to bring back the old tradition, you know?”

“Oh, shit,” Sebastian muttered.

“What’s up? No worries if you can’t make it tonight.”

“Nah, but I may bring someone along.”

Sam’s stomach churned unpleasantly, imagining some secret significant other, some torrid love affair Sebastian was having without him, Sam trapped on the peripheral of Sebastian’s life. “Oh?” Sam croaked.

“Yeah, my old college roommate is visiting me this weekend. He’s coming in on the bus from Zuzu City in a couple of hours. If it’s okay with you and Alex, maybe he can tag along. His name’s Liam.”

“Oh.” The knot in Sam’s middle slowly came undone. “Yeah, of course, Seb! I’d love to meet your old roommate.”

“Yeah, he’s pretty cool. He was my closest college friend.” Sam noted the qualifier—Liam was a _college_ friend. Sam was his closest friend. That distinction was important to him.

“Can’t wait to meet him. See you this evening!”

When Sebastian informed Liam about the plan to head to the Stardrop Saloon that evening, his friend was immediately suspicious. Sebastian was helping Liam put sheets on the futon in his room, Liam’s makeshift sleeping arrangements.

“Sam? You mean… _Sam_?” The way Liam repeated his name had implications.

“Uh, yeah. That Sam.” Sebastian understood why Liam was surprised. Sebastian had been nearly intentional about keeping Sam away from his college friends. He’d never invited Sam to visit him in the city, instead opting to see him in Pelican Town. Liam had never met him, but he knew Sebastian’s feelings for him. Seb just couldn’t fathom sharing Sam with his other friends, and he almost felt like a different person at college. He had been out there, and more open. Pelican Town saw a different version of Sebastian.

“Hmm,” Liam said. “So, um, have you two been hanging out this summer?” Again, there were implications.

“Yeah. Uh, we’ve been hanging out a lot.”

Liam gave him a searing look. “I’m gonna need more detail than that, Seb.”

Sebastian paused. “I’ll fucking kill you if you repeat anything I’m about to say to you.”

Liam waved his hand in a circle, a universal motion for _go on_.

“I spend time with him almost every day, and when I’m not with him, I’m thinking about him. And he’s just as stupidly perfect as he’s always been. Maybe even more perfect. He’s been working out, and now he has all these fucking _muscles_."

Liam sighed. Seb was pretty sure he detected pity. “So… have you even come out to him?”

“No.” Seb kicked a dirty sock into the corner with the rest of his dirty laundry.

“And it goes without saying that he has no idea how you feel.”

“Yeah, no. Not even an inkling.”

“Alllll right,” Liam said, extending the word. He was putting pillows in pillowcases.

“Again, I’ll fucking kill you if any of this gets out, but, if you were me, what would you do?”

Liam gave him a look that said, _you’re in over your head_. “Um, come out to him, for one? If you’re a thousand percent sure he’s straight, I guess you don’t need to tell him you’ve had feelings for him for your entire damn life. But you might regret it if you go to your grave with that secret.”

Sebastian respected Liam for his bluntness. He always had. Liam was a queer artist from a family of athletes, so he had developed a thick skin. Sebastian had met him as a closeted gay kid, but had grown quickly, partially inspired by Liam’s confidence.

“I despise your advice,” Seb informed him.

“That’s how you know it’s good advice.”

“Finish with your fucking pillowcases,” Sebastian said. “I’ll be out by the lake.”

He needed to clear his head.

Sam had arrived at the saloon early. Slowly, residents of Pelican Town trickled in. Shane was at the bar, chatting with Bea and Abigail. He was pretty sure Bea said something about someone named Krobus babysitting Lily—he’d need to check later and make sure Lil was in good hands.

Alex arrived, too. He greeted Sam and perched next to Shane, slapping him on the shoulder amicably before launching into a discussion about the upcoming pro gridball season. Abigail slipped away from the bar, coming to join Sam by the pool table. She leaned against the cola machine. “What’s up?” she asked, eyeing him as if examining him for information.

Sam huffed and sank more deeply into the couch. “Seb is bringing his college roommate tonight.” When he spoke the words, it felt more real, and he felt jittery all over again.

“Okay,” Abigail said, shrugging. “Sounds good.”

“Yeah,” Sam said. Something in his voice betrayed him because Abigail’s gaze turned more skeptical.

“You nervous?” she asked.

“I—uh—” He swallowed. “I’m not _not_ nervous.

“Nice, Sam,” Abigail said. She joined him on the couch, scooting him gently with her hip to open more room for herself. “Crazy to think we’ve met up here since we were just kids, huh?”

“Yeah.” His thoughts were still absorbed with ideas of Sebastian, flirting with some mystery roommate.

“Things have changed a lot. I’ve got a whole kid and a whole spouse.”

“For sure, for sure.”

“But you and Seb are still tight.”

“Yeah.” His voice came out as a sort of whisper.

Abby put a hand on his knee, squeezing to get his attention. “Sam, you’re freaking the fuck out. Why?”

He scrubbed his face with his hands, trying to jar himself back into reality and out of his head. “Abby… you mean the world to me. And my mom and Vincent, they’re everything to me.”

She was looking at him as if he were a kid trying to work out a difficult math problem. “Mm-hmm.”

“But Seb. Oh man… Seb…”

Abby was still nodding. She let the silence linger between them.

“I see Seb hanging out with his family, or holding a damn frog, or laughing, and it’s like _whoa_ , you know?”

“Uh, yeah. Sure.”

“He’s really… He’s just… There’s no one like Seb. And I’ve just been thinking, like, I think it would really kill a part of me if he left again without knowing…” Sam was at a loss for the words to explain what he was feeling.

“Without knowing you feel like _whoa_?” Abigail waved her hand about as if to convey Sam’s confusing emotions.

“Yeah,” Sam said miserably. “It’s just hard. He had this whole life in Zuzu City without me. He’s doing all this programming stuff, and I can barely keep up. I just want—” That almost felt like a complete thought. Sam _wanted_. _You want Seb_ , a little voice in his head sang. _You want him, you want him, you want him_. Sam was pretty sure he didn’t deserve him.

“Oh, Sam.” Abigail gathered up his hands and squeezed them with hers. “Give yourself a day, okay?” Abigail had picked up that saying from his mom, from Jodi. She would always say _give it a day, sleep on it_. When he was a kid, his mom would say, _it looks like you’re feeling something big now, Sammy. Go take a minute. Go sleep on it._ If you followed the advice, it meant you could approach the feelings later with a clear head. “But, like, oh how do I say this? Stop counting yourself out. For goodness’ sake, talk to Sebastian.”

“Okay.”

“Bea and I, we took a while to get to know each other. We started out as friends. And now look at us—we’ve got each other, and a farm, and a baby. And a dog. And a guinea pig.”

“You think one day Sebastian and I will have a farm and a dog and a guinea pig one day?” He wouldn’t even let himself say the word _baby_. It was too much, too far away, too likely to make his heart grow too large for his chest.

She gave his hands one final squeeze. “I think one day you and Seb could have all the damn guinea pigs you want.”

Sam choked out a laugh. He didn’t know if he believed Abigail, but he appreciated the Abigail believed in him. At that moment, Seb walked through the door. With him, there was a college-aged man with dark skin and curly black hair, wearing round, wire-rimmed glasses and a loose-fitting, emerald green button-down. Sam swallowed and rose from his seat, exchanging a glance with Abigail.

Sebastian was greeted with enthusiasm, which was, frankly, disconcerting. He had never been popular in Pelican Town before, but it seemed all of Sam’s friends were willing to accept him as one of his own. He introduced Liam to Shane, Alex, and Bea. Behind them, Abigail and Sam emerged from the back room. Abigail shrieked from happiness and wrapped Liam in a hug. “One of Seb’s college friends!” she exclaimed. “I never thought this would happen!”

Visitors in Pelican Town were rare, so Sebastian had to wait until Abigail made introductions to half the fascinated townspeople. Sam sidled up beside him and bumped his shoulder gently with his. “What’s up?” he asked.

“Not much,” Sebastian responded. “Is Liam the most exciting thing to happen in Pelican Town in the last year?”

“Yeah, at least the best thing to happen since the blue chickens.”

“Blue chickens?” Sebastian spluttered. He turned back to see if Sam was messing with him, and Sam burst into laughter. “What the hell’s going on in this town?”

Instead of responding, Sam clasped his shoulder fondly, rubbing along the ridge with his thumb.

“Alex, have you met Liam?” Abigail was finishing her rounds with Seb’s friend. Sebastian had been unsure whether Liam would fit in in his hometown, but he seemed to be doing okay with Abigail as his guide. Sebastian shouldn’t have been concerned—Liam had always been friendlier than he was.

“Liam Knox,” Liam said, sticking his hand out in what had to be his fourth or fifth greeting.

“Hey,” Alex said, sticking his hand out automatically. As he was making the motion, though, something in him seemed to short-circuit. “Wait—Zuzu City Tech? _Knox?_ You’re—”

“Yeah,” Liam said, smile tightening almost imperceptibly, “I am. Craig Knox’s brother, that is.”

“Oh,” Alex squeaked. “Oh. Cool. Cool to meet you.” Seb was pretty sure Alex was melting before his eyes.

“Let’s get you a drink, Liam!” Abigail said, turning him about yet again. “Are you more of a cider man or a pale ale man?”

Alex rushed at Sebastian, head down. “You didn’t tell me your friend was _Liam Knox_ ,” he said hurriedly.

Sebastian had known in theory that Liam came from a family of professional athletes, but he had never seemed excited to talk about it, and Seb knew next to nothing about sports. “Alex, no offense, but I’m not following you right now.”

Alex launched into an explanation. “Craig Knox was the star gridball runner for Zuzu Tech, and now he plays pro for the Tunnelers! The whole family is, like, pro sports legends! His parents, too!”

Seb shrugged. “I think Liam is cool with his family, but we don’t talk about them much. He’s into graphic design and painting—ask him about that if you want to get on his good side.”

Alex nodded seriously, as if committing Sebastian’s words to memory. Liam returned, looking flushed, holding a cider in one of Gus’s enormous glasses.

“Introductions have been made!” Abigail announced. “And I heard there were plans to play pool. Although I’m sure you would have invited me,” she said to Sebastian and Sam, “I will have to politely, preemptively decline. I’m going to go hang out with Bea and Shane. See you later, boys! Take good care of Liam."

Liam clinked his glass against hers before turning back to the group. “So… pool?”

Alex launched into a lengthy discussion about making the teams equal. “So—Sam says Seb is better than me?”

Sam nodded confidently, eyes twinkling. Seb had no gauge of Alex’s pool abilities, but Sam was clearly enjoying ruffling Alex’s feathers.

“Fine then,” Alex huffed. “Liam, have you played pool before? Can you hold a pool cue?”

“Yeah, I’ve played a handful of times.”

“Great, you’re certainly better than Sam, then.”

“Hey!” Sam protested.

Decisively, Alex said Sam and Sebastian should play together, and he and Liam would play together. He looked at Liam almost nervously, as if worried he would reject him.

“Yeah, man!” Liam agreed. “Sounds good. I’ll kick Seb’s ass at any game.”

“Ooh, the other team is talking shit,” Sam taunted, teasing Sebastian.

Seb raised his hands in an innocent gesture. “May the best man—uh, men—win.”

Sebastian was pretty proud of his pool game. It had been honed by lots of practice, brought on by the fact that there was little to do in Pelican Town. Sometimes, as a teenager, Sebastian would go to the Stardrop Saloon early in the day without Sam or Abigail and would practice his shots. Gus would wink at him and let him play in peace in the other room. Sebastian was quietly competitive, but he didn’t want to clue Sam into the fact that he wasn’t as much of a natural at pool as he seemed to be.

Sam, on the other hand, had truly never gotten the hang of the game. Alex broke, sinking a striped ball in the process. Sam followed him, completely missing a shot and almost launching the cue ball off the table.

“Hey, hey, gentle,” Sebastian said to him. He was red-faced as he rose from taking his shot.

“Oops,” he said weakly.

“We don’t need to be accurate, okay? Just two goals—keep the ball on the table, and don’t sink any stripes. Or the eight ball, obviously. I think I can handle the rest,” Sebastian reassured him. “Seriously— _gentle shots_.”

Sam nodded his assent as Liam squared up to the table. His shot was well-aimed but too weak. Sebastian liked the angle he had left the ball at, though, and sank two on his turn. He grinned at Sam, unable to avoid showing off a bit.

Alex was outplaying Liam, but Liam held his own. Honestly, the teams were pretty equally divided. Alex and Liam made few mistakes, and Seb and Sam’s game was entirely contingent on Sebastian’s turns. At least Sam followed Seb’s advice and avoided sinking any striped balls or the eight ball. He did, however, scratch the cue ball frequently, giving Alex and Liam some advantageous positions.

“Um, hey, here, try like this,” Alex said a few shots into the game. He repositioned Liam’s left hand, which was on the pool table, blushing nervously as he did so. “Your shots should be a little straighter.”

Liam’s sparkling eyes met Sebastian’s, and Sebastian knew if they were alone, Liam would have made a joke about rarely aiming to be straight. Instead, Liam thanked Alex and managed to sink a ball on his shot. Liam high-fived Alex, who was still blushing. Sebastian had never known him to be so self-conscious before.

Sebastian followed up with another strong shot. Sam sidled up to him as he backed away from the table. “Are they…?” he asked.

Seb met his eyes. “I mean…” He wouldn’t _openly_ discuss his friend’s love life, but he understood Sam’s implications.

“Yeah, just making sure I wasn’t crazy.” Liam cheered as Alex sank another ball, grasping his shoulders and shaking a bit. Alex’s cheeks somehow grew even redder.

Sam raised his eyebrows before heading to the table to take his shot. He didn’t manage to sink anything, but at least he left the cue ball in a poor position for Liam, who also failed to make a shot.

On his next turn, Sebastian sank two more balls, leaving only one solid on the table. “Ye-eah,” Sam cheered, clacking their pool cues together.

Alex took his turn, sinking one ball, but he and Liam still had a couple left on the table. He cut his eyes at Sam, competitive streak coming out.

Sam clearly understood what he was trying to do, but he approached the table clumsily, clearly nervous.

“Okay,” Seb said. “We got this. I’ll talk you through it.”

“Hey!” Alex protested.

“I let you help Liam,” Sebastian said. Alex didn’t have much room to disagree.

“You’ve got a decent position. Okay, set up your shot. Yeah, that’s good. Straight on, okay? Hit it like the cue ball isn’t even there, like you’re just sinking the ball right into the pocket.”

Sebastian guessed something about his advice resonated with Sam because he managed to sink the shot. He stood up quickly, as if in disbelief, afterward. “ _Yes!_ ” Sebastian said. “Yes! MVP of the game!” Sam totally missed his next shot at the eight ball, but Sebastian didn’t care.

As they moved back from the table together, Sam swung an arm over Seb’s shoulder. “Not bad, huh? I think I’m on track to beat you in, oh, eighty years or so.”

“Yeah.” Seb smiled up at him. He could feel Liam’s eyes on them, but he chose to ignore it.

The game ended as expected, with Sebastian sinking the eight ball to little fanfare. Alex held out a hand and said, “good game, bro.” Sebastian thought that he could count on one hand the number of times he had been called _bro_ in his life, but he slapped Alex’s hand nonetheless.

The group approached the bar just as Bea and Abigail were leaving. Bea held up Abby’s light jacket for her, allowing for her to slip her arms in. It was late summer, so the nights had just the slightest chill to them after dark.

“Bye, Abby! Bye, Bea!” Liam called. Seb, Sam, and Alex joined him in waving. “Hey,” he said, turning to the others, “I was wondering: what’s up with that doghouse outside?”

“Oh, um,” Alex rubbed his neck self-consciously. “That’s Dusty. I can introduce you to him if you want. We might need to go get some treats from my house, though.”

Liam beamed. “Sounds good. Seb, I can meet you back at your house.” He shot him a meaningful look that said _I’m giving you alone time with Sam now. Don’t fuck it up._ Sebastian could not fathom how he had masterminded this—how could he have known that Dusty belonged to Alex?

Sam was busy saying goodbye to Shane and Marnie. He waved at Alex and Liam as they left together.

“Hey Sam,” Sebastian said, trying to suppress his nerves, “walk me home?”

Sam could tell something about Sebastian was off. He just couldn’t tell what it was. He wanted to comfort him, to make him his self again. “It was fun to see Abby and Bea and everyone tonight! And it was great to meet Liam. I think he fits in well.” Sam was overcompensating by being overly peppy.

“He’s a good guy,” Sebastian said, voice contemplative.

Sam let the conversation hang in silence for a moment. Seb seemed to be thinking.

Once they passed the general store and the clinic, Sebastian stopped in his tracks. “Sam, I need to tell you something,” he said resolutely. Sam stopped with him and nodded.

“I’m gay.” Sebastian sounded matter-of-fact, almost flat. He searched Sam’s face for a reaction.

“Oh!” Sam said. Then, realizing that probably wasn’t _enough_ of a reaction, he added, “That’s good! Thanks for telling me.”

Sebastian shook his head as if trying to physically clear his thoughts. “Uh, thanks.” Slowly, he resumed walking.

Sam kept pace with him, but in the silence, he was thinking, heart sinking. Seb was coming out to him on the night he introduced him to Liam. Maybe there really _was_ something between them.

“So, um, you and Liam?”

“Liam?” Seb asked, taken aback.

“If you guys are together, I mean, that’s great. I guess I was wrong about him and Alex earlier.”

“Whoa.” Sebastian raised a hand, shaking his head. “No. Liam’s not straight either, but we’re definitely not dating.”

Sam immediately felt lighter. “Oh, I guess I was reading into things too much. I thought maybe Liam was giving you space to tell me.” In his relief, Sam chuckled.

“Yeah, no.” Sebastian still seemed stiff. Sam couldn’t get a read on what he was feeling. No matter what it was, Sam didn’t think he wanted to share. After walking in silence for a while longer, they finally made their way to Sebastian’s house.

“Well,” Seb said, “I guess I’ll see you soon.” He turned toward his house before Sam even finished saying goodbye.

Liam arrived an hour after Seb had gotten home. Sebastian was lying in a darkened room, staring at the ceiling. Liam flipped a light on when he entered.

“Feeling dramatic, are we?” Liam asked dryly.

“Nngh,” Seb groaned, flinging an arm over his face. “I told him, you fucker.”

“Ah.”

“He said _oh good!_ ” Sebastian did a poor impression of Sam. “And then he asked me if you and I were dating.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Not exactly encouraging.”

“At least… he’s accepting?”

“Yeah, I’m thrilled.” Sebastian’s tone said he was anything but thrilled.

“Well… the good news is that Alex gave me his number!”

“I’ve lived in the same town as Alex for pretty much my whole life, and even I don’t have his number.”

Liam smiled to himself.

A little over a week later, Sam called Abigail.

“Hey buddy,” she greeted him. “I’m trying to feed a baby and a guinea pig, but what’s up?”

“I don’t know. I just wanted to talk about the other night at the saloon.” Sam hadn’t even seen Sebastian since that night, and it was strange. Before that evening, he had spent nearly every day with Sebastian since his return from college.

“Seb texted me that he came out to you.”

Thank goodness. Sam hadn’t wanted to speak with Abby about that if Sebastian hadn’t already told her, but he needed to vent. “Yeah, he did. I almost died because I thought he was going to tell me he and Liam were together. But he said they weren’t, and then he just, like, stopped talking to me. I could barely get anything out of him. It’s like he was running away from me.”

“Hmm.”

“Yeah. Hmm.”

“I think,” Abigail said slowly, “you might be overthinking things. Maybe you’re just stressing too much.”

“I _am_ stressing. And, I mean, you’re probably right. I think I’m just thinking about worst-case scenarios. But he _probably_ doesn’t hate me, right?”

“I’m going to go with no.”

“Okay. Good. I mean, that’s a relief.”

Abigail chuckled at him. “You’re so lame. I swear I have to hold your hands and teach you guys how to confront your emotions.”

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing. Hey, how about you and Seb come over for dinner this week? Bea and I talked about inviting you guys over.”

“I’d like that! I’ll mention it to Seb.”

Sam heard distressed guinea pig noises over the phone. “Geez, David Junior, chill!”

“Oh, hey, Abs, Sebastian is actually calling me now. Crazy! I’ll talk to you later!”

Sebastian had asked Sam to come up the mountain, so that they could sit by the lake. After all of the history they had there, it felt right.

He was there when Sam approached, pacing along the lake’s edge. He was jittery, nervous, hesitant to tell Sam the news he had.

Sam waved, grinning. They hadn’t seen each other in person since a couple of weeks ago, when Sebastian had come out to him. Fall had begun, and Sebastian had even skipped out on the Dance of the Moonlight Jellies, which was secretly one of his favorite holidays celebrated in the valley.

“Hey!”

Sebastian greeted him. He suspected Sam could tell he was in a contemplative mood. They stood at the edge of the lake together, just watching the water.

“So,” Sebastian began, “I’ve got some news.”

“Oh! What’s up?”

“I’ve got a job offer.”

“Wow, okay. That’s great.”

“It’s in Zuzu City.”

Sebastian watched Sam. He looked like he was wincing, but he was smiling through it. “Seb, I’m happy for you if it’s a job you want to take. You deserve everything.”

Sebastian exhaled. He wasn’t sure how to respond. It was a job he wanted. It wasn’t a job he needed—he had garnered a decent client list from years of freelancing. He liked the city. He liked being around Sam _more_. But the more time they spent together, the more Sebastian felt he didn’t just want to be friends. Maybe it would be more painful to stay. Instead of conveying any of these truths, he just said, “Thanks.” He kicked at the dirt. “I haven’t accepted yet. I asked them to give me a little bit of time. I just need to figure everything out.”

Sam had spent the last forty-eight hours in a sad haze. After Sebastian told him about the job offer in the city, he forced himself to put on a happy mask. He would _never_ ask Sebastian to forego an excellent opportunity just to stay in Pelican Town, to stay with Sam. Sam was many things, but he wasn’t selfish. He’d sacrifice himself every time for someone he loved. Plus, he reminded himself constantly, Seb didn’t owe him anything. They were no more than friends, and friends had to support one another. Friends had to be casual.

Sam had quickly invited Seb to Abby and Bea’s after hearing the news, and then he’d made up an excuse to leave. When he arrived home, he stood in the shower, worried that he might spontaneously burst into tears. He hadn’t. He’d just stood there numbly.

He was getting ready for dinner at Abby and Bea’s almost mechanically, but he was determined to make the night excellent. If this was the end, he would make it the sweetest ending he could. He had left Vincent with his dad today so he could make some preparations.

When he arrived at Abigail’s and Bea’s, the dinner spread was made up almost entirely of food sourced from the farm. There was fresh bread, wine, and pumpkin soup, which Sam was pretty sure was a recipe from Robin. He’d grown up eating the soup at Sebastian’s house, where it was an autumnal favorite.

He’d had a suspicion that there would be plenty of food, so he passed Abigail a bouquet after entering their home. “Gorgeous!” she exclaimed. Sam beamed; Penny had helped him choose flowers from the forest to add to the bouquet today.

Sebastian arrived moments after Sam. He was carrying a pumpkin pie, which he handed unceremoniously to Bea. “I see there’s no shortage of pumpkin tonight,” he remarked.

They laughed and promised to make sure it didn’t get cold before dessert. Bea headed into the kitchen to store the pie, and Abigail went to check up on a sleeping Lily, leaving Sebastian and Sam lingering together in the entryway.

After a pause, they looked over at each other. “Hey,” each of them said, voices overlapping. Sam laughed, and Sebastian looked almost relieved.

“Hey,” Sam repeated. “I’ve missed you. Did you bake that pie yourself?”

Sebastian blushed a bit. “With some help from my mom. I might not be the best baker, but I can follow instructions okay, I guess.”

“I’ll bet it’s great,” Sam said with confidence. “You never half-ass anything.”

Bea entered again. They were carrying some sort of vegetable roast and a casserole dish full of stuffing. Sam hurried toward them, taking one of the large dishes from their arms. “Phew, thanks,” they said, laughing. “I think I got a little too ambitious there.”

Abigail joined them again, and they gathered around the table. A fire was roaring in the corner. Sam tugged out Seb’s chair for him before sitting down next to him. It was so quiet, so domestic. If Sam ignored all the context surrounding the evening, it felt like they were two couples enjoying each other’s company.

Abigail tugged the cork free from the wine. “It’s wild plum wine!” Bea enthused. “Sam, I know I gave you wine made from grapes earlier, so…” They trailed off as Sam’s eye’s widened, leaving the thought unfinished. If Sebastian had heard the half-finished statement, he didn’t let it on.

They all complimented the food profusely. Bea chatted, filling the time with discussion of the farm and their dinosaurs. Abigail updated them about Lily’s new words—she knew _mom_ , called Bea _Bee-Bee_ , and had even recently learned the word guinea pig, although Abby said it came out sounding more like _gin peeg_.

“She’s a genius,” Sam had declared. “Definitely got it from Uncle Sam’s side of the family."

The evening grew later, and out the windows, the sun had sunk fully below the horizon. They were all leaned back in their chairs, stuffed with food and wine and Sebastian’s excellent pumpkin pie. If Sam could have paused time, he was pretty sure he would have been content to live in that moment forever. Eventually, they said their goodbyes, and Sam found himself out on the porch with Sebastian.

Suddenly, outside of the warmth from the farmhouse, there was a bit of a wedge between the two of them again.

“Well—“ Sebastian started, just as Sam said, “Seb—”

“Yeah?” Seb asked, looking at him expectantly.

Sam exhaled. “Um, I’ve got a bit of a surprise.”

Sebastian’s interest was piqued. He followed Sam down into the forest, past Marnie’s farm and Leah’s cabin. At the edge of the lake, there was a blanket laid out. A covered picnic basket sat atop it, and it was surrounded by those little lights you used to line garden paths. In fact, Sebastian was pretty sure they were the same lights he had seen on the path in front of Sam’s house time and time again. The night was laced with the cries of frogs and insect noises.

“Uh,” Sam said nervously. “I thought, well, since you’re going to leave, I wanted to do something for you before you could go. It’s nothing big, but—”

“This is great,” Sebastian said firmly. “Sam, thank you.”

“No problem! C’mon.” Sam led him to the blanket. He sprawled out and dug into the basket. “Hmm,” he said. “There are cookies, but I’m stuffed. We might need to save these for later. There’s wine, too, though!” He held the bottle up triumphantly, but then he looked down into the basket. “Oh, shoot. I thought I’d planned everything perfectly, but I forgot glasses.”

Sebastian chuckled, gesturing for Sam to hand him the bottle. “It’s no problem.” After years away at college, Sebastian had learned to carry around a bottle opener on his keychain. He flipped out the cork opener and twisted the wine open, handing the bottle back to Sam. Sam took a drink and passed the bottle back to Sebastian, who did the same. He was aware of the fact that Sam’s lips had just been on the bottle. He was like a lovestruck teenager, focusing on that casual pseudo-contact.

Sam leaned back, head tilted toward the sky. Sebastian looked up, too. One of the best parts of being back in the valley was the unobstructed view of the stars.

“I’d live this night over and over again if I could,” Sam said wistfully. “I think Abby and Bea have the perfect life. I love their farm.”

 _I love being with you_ , Seb wanted to respond. Instead, he joked, “You want kids already?”

Sam laughed. “Maybe not right this second, but soon, you know?”

“Yeah,” Sebastian said quietly. He could picture Sam somewhere in a big yard, playing with some blond children. He wished he could have been a part of that image. The conversation paused, both of them seemingly lost in their thoughts. They passed the bottle of wine back and forth a few times.

“How’s Liam?” Sam asked eventually.

“He’s teaching at an art camp in the city. He likes graphic design, but he loves anywhere he gets to paint. I think that’s what he’s teaching the kids. When we lived together, the apartment always smelled like acrylics. Freshman year, when we just shared a room, I would have to kick him out to go work in the art building. I thought the paint fumes were going to get me high.”

Sam chuckled fondly, probably imagining an eighteen-year-old Sebastian. Since Sam had mentioned Liam, Sebastian was turning Liam’s advice over in his head: _if you go to the grave without telling Sam you have feelings for him, you might regret it_.

“Tell me what’s on your mind?” Sam requested after an extended silence.

“I—I don’t know if I should.”

“I’d never make you tell me something, Seb, but you can always tell me whatever you want.”

Seb’s mouth was dry. “Sam.”

Sam looked at him over his shoulder, gaze unwavering.

“Sam, I don’t want anything to change between us.”

“Yeah…” Sam trailed off. “I feel like things are already changing, though.”

“Sam, I have feelings for you. I’ve felt this way for a while, but I never knew if you could possibly feel the same way. I don’t want to go my whole life without telling you, though. For me, it’s always you. It’s always been you.” Sebastian nearly choked as the last words escaped him. This was much more difficult than coming out to Sam, although it had felt like the conversation had been left unfinished after coming out. Sebastian felt like he had been laid bare, no armor.

“Oh,” Sam said. “Oh.”

Sebastian felt like his skin was on fire. He scrambled up from the picnic blanket, feeling like he needed to make a hasty exit. He was unsure he could handle another single moment of vulnerability.

“Wait, Seb. Please, wait.” Sam rose with him. His expression was inscrutable.

Instead of saying anything, Sam clutched him close in an embrace. The hug felt fevered, tense. Sam leaned back a bit and pressed a single kiss to Sebastian’s forehead.

“Seb.” Sam’s voice was raw. “I wish I knew what to say to you. I just—I need a tiny bit of time, okay? Can you give me two days?”

Sebastian did not know how to interpret that question—he had laid his feelings out in the open, and Sam had asked for some sort of extension. Still, Sebastian had nodded. Shakily, he said, “Yeah. Of course.”

Sam awoke the next day and mentally replayed the events of the previous night. It had felt nearly surreal. Sam often had trouble conveying his feelings in words, and what he felt for Sebastian was so enormous and all-encompassing. He could have never expressed it to Sebastian last night with so little warning. In fact, the picnic itself probably expressed his love for Sebastian better than he could have verbally, but still, he knew he needed to express his feelings to Sebastian in no uncertain terms.

He wandered the house after waking. He made more coffee for his parents, poured some cereal for himself. In the living room, Vincent was playing beats on a toy piano.

“Hey Vince,” Sam said, sitting on the couch. “What’s up?”

“Waiting for Miss Penny and Jas to come get me. We’re going to the playground,” Vincent replied. His face was scrunched as he examined the minuscule buttons on the piano.

“Vince?”

“Yeah, Sammy?”

“You like Sebastian?”

“Seb?” Vincent looked over at him, confused. He shrugged. “Yeah. He’s just Seb.” Sam assumed Vincent meant he had known Sebastian since he had been born. Although he had been gone for a few years as Vincent grew, he was still a fixture in Vincent’s life.

“I like him a lot,” Sam said weakly.

“Yep,” Vincent agreed, turning back to his piano, clearly uninterested in the conversation.

“Good talk, little bro.” Sam ruffled his hair as he walked back into the kitchen. “I’m gonna be in the garage, okay? Let me know when Miss Penny comes to pick you up.”

He went out to the garage, where his dad was lifting weights. Most mornings, Sam joined Kent, but that day, he just sat on a weight bench, waiting on his father to finish what he was doing.

“Something on your mind?” his dad asked when he sat down his weights. He probably felt Sam’s eyes on him.

“Yeah,” Sam said. “Something is. I don’t really know how to say this because I’ve never said it before, but I don’t think I’m only attracted to women. I’m definitely attracted to guys, too.”

He waited for his father’s reaction. Kent was a man of few words, and he considered Sam’s words for a moment before responding. “I’m the first one you’ve told?”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks, son.”

“Um, dad? Could you say something else?”

Kent sat on the bench across from Sam. “Well, kid, I don’t think it’s a big deal, if that’s what you’re worried about. I met a lot of guys while I was in the military, and some of them felt the same way as you do now. Didn’t change them in my eyes.”

His dad didn’t talk about the military much with Sam. Didn’t talk to Sam much at all, really. Mostly, they lifted weights together in silence. “Thanks,” Sam said, voice small.

Kent waited, seemingly trying to figure out if Sam wanted to talk more.

“Sebastian,” Sam blurted. “Uh, Sebastian. You know him?”

Kent nodded stoically. He did most things stoically.

“He’s—I—um, I have feelings for him.”

“Robin and Demetrius are good people,” Kent said measuredly. He did most things measuredly. “I’m sure Sebastian is, too. And he’s been a good friend to you.”

“Yeah.” Sam felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. “He has been. Spot me, dad?”

That evening, he texted Sebastian. _Spirits Eve Festival?_ it read. _Will you be there?_

 _I’ll be there_ , read the response.

The Spirit’s Eve Festival was the next day. He had some planning to do. He did the natural thing: he called Abigail.

Sebastian usually spent the Spirit’s Eve Festival watching the sparring skeletons. He had never figured out the magic that spurred them on, but every year he was glued to them, caught in some juvenile trance.

This year, however, Sam met him at the entrance to the festival. He had immediately drawn him into a hug. “Will you go in the maze with me?” Sam had asked. “Bea gave me all the details about how to get to this secret area.”

Sebastian had quickly agreed, mystified by Sam’s open affection. Sam had grinned widely and grasped Sebastian’s hand, pulling him past Pierre’s booth and up toward the maze. He seemed to have no regard for the number of villagers surrounding them, openly holding Sebastian’s hand as they passed him by. Bea, who was chatting with Gus, winked at them. When they entered the maze, everything grew more hushed, as if they were entering some sort of alternate dimension. 

Sebastian allowed Sam to lead him more deeply into the maze. They passed Alex, who was pacing about, muttering frustratedly, and Penny, who, in the distance, seemed to be gazing into a bubbling cauldron. Sam never let go of his hand. At one point, he patted it reassuringly with his second hand upon hearing Sebastian’s gasp at the moving hands coming out of the ground. They passed by Abigail, who had her back turned to a group of giant, fake spiders. Her eyes were squeezed shut, and she was murmuring to herself. “Just spiders. They’re just spiders.”

Sam patted her shoulder as they passed by. She glanced down at their entwined hands, and, frantically, looked back and forth from Sam to Seb. Sam shot her a grin, Sebastian shot her a shrug, and they continued on their way.

“Bea said to keep going past the spiders,” Sam said quietly. Sebastian was unsure whether it was for his benefit or Sam’s, but he melted a bit watching Sam’s unyielding focus. “Ah, here we go!” They were at a dead end with a stubby wooden sign. It had a question mark painted on it.

“Oh, is this the end?” Sebastian asked.

“Nope, just the beginning.” Sam patted his hand again, then raised it, pressing a kiss on the back of Seb’s hand. He was pretty sure he could hear his heartbeat rushing in his ears at this point. If Sam had anything else planned, he would need to get it over with soon, lest Sebastian keel over and die. Cause of death: excitement, happiness, reciprocated feelings.

Sam was waving his hand through the bushes, brushing dense leaves back and forth. “Ah-hah!” he exclaimed finally, excitedly showing Sebastian a well-hidden gap. “Look!”

He led Sebastian through the gap in the bushes. In front of them, there was an entrance to the caves. “Here we go,” Sam said. “You ready?”

Seb peered around him into the darkness. “I guess.”

“You trust Bea, right?”

“I trust you,” Seb said firmly. “You lead the way.”

Sam turned back and grinned at him, goofy and open. Sebastian would press kisses to that mouth, he told himself. Soon.

“Let’s go.” Sebastian kept pace behind Sam. They were still connected by their hands. Even if they had wanted to walk side by side, the tunnel was so tight that it seemed impossible.

“Long tunnel,” Sebastian remarked after a long moment of walking. He wasn’t really worried—the night was so surreal, he wasn’t even entirely sure it wasn’t some strange dream fantasy.

In the dark, Sam stopped walking, presumably to check on Sebastian. Seb couldn’t detect his movements in the full darkness, though, and he rammed into him. Sam didn’t move, and they stood together, pressed chest to chest. Sebastian could feel Sam breathing against him, alive and solid. Sebastian tilted his head up, although it was impossible to actually meet Sam’s gaze. He felt Sam’s breath against his cheek, ruffling his hair.

“You good?” Sam asked. He placed his free hand on Sebastian’s neck. It traveled up soothingly, fingers tangling in Sebastian’s hairline.

“Sam.” Sebastian’s voice came out breathy and shaky. He was turning into a romance novel character.

“Almost there,” Sam said. He pulled Seb close and pressed a kiss to his forehead. It was an echo of the night in the forest. Sebastian felt warm, but he hoped they found their destination quickly. He needed more.

He felt Sam turn again and pull him forward. Sebastian couldn’t tell if they walked for a minute or five, but eventually, they saw the faint glow of light ahead of them. Sam squeezed his hand, and Sebastian saw him, silhouetted against the light, turn and smile. “C’mon,” he said.

They arrived in a clearing. It was lit by lanterns, and the space felt wholly removed from the maze they had just come from. In the middle of the clearing sat a chest. For the first time, Sam dropped his hand, but he quickly made up for it by wrapping the arm around Sebastian’s waist. He pulled him forward, toward the chest, and knelt down to examine it more closely. With a _pop_ , Sam flipped open the clasp and heaved the lid open.

A gold so bright it was almost blinding was being emitted from the chest. Seb was having _Pulp Fiction_ flashbacks. However, here, to tell what was emitting the light quickly.

“Is that… a pumpkin?” A moment ago, he had only had Sam on his mind, but this development had thrown him for a loop.

Sam shrugged. He crouched and heaved the pumpkin up from its resting place. Never would Sebastian have expected to see a luminescent _pumpkin_. “Seb,” Sam said brightly. “ _Imagine_ how cool this would look if we threw it off a mountain.”

“Fuck me,” Seb groaned quietly. It was directed at Sam, at the universe, at himself. He was already stupidly, hopelessly in love with Sam. He had admitted that to himself years ago. In that moment, though, he felt close to exploding. Sam was placing the pumpkin on the ground nearby. When he was done, he stood at his full height and met Seb’s gaze. He huffed out an affectionate laugh and dipped close to Seb. Sebastian quickly realized he was shutting the chest, which was still behind him. Sebastian was having a bit of trouble paying attention to the setting any longer, all of his energy focused on Sam.

Sam was leaning closer, as if guided by a gravitational pull.

“ _Sam_ ,” Sebastian said urgently.

“Seb.” Sam’s voice was almost eerily calm. “You’re so—you’re—” Sam shook his head. “I have feelings for you,” he said firmly, as if he had rehearsed the line.

Sebastian latched his arms around Sam’s neck. “Is this okay?” he whispered. He sounded like he was in a trance.

“Yes.”

He was kissing him. They were kissing each other. Sam curled a hand around Sebastian’s hip and guided it gently until he was half-sitting on the chest. Sebastian was pulling him down by his blue jacket. He’d had that jacket for ages. Sebastian _loved_ that jacket.

Sam was kissing him more insistently, mouth open. Sebastian wanted to catalog the feeling of Sam’s lips against his, the way they slotted together, Sam’s fevered breathing between kisses. Sam pushed him against the chest again, moving the hand that had been on his hip downwards. He used it to guide Sebastian’s leg to the side. Sam slotted one of his legs between Sebastian’s, and Sebastian felt a new urgency. He was growing hard against Sam. He was turned on in the middle of the town’s Halloween maze, and he wasn’t bothered in the least.

Sebastian would have let him go on for all eternity. For Seb, this was years of fantasies realized, but it proved better than any of them. Eventually, though, Sam paused. He clutched at Sebastian and tucked his head down so they were embracing. “That was…”

“Yeah,” Seb agreed.

“We should do that more often.”

“I’d be down.” They were both breathing hard, and Sebastian took a moment to think very unsexy thoughts. He didn’t want Sam to get him off in the middle of the Halloween maze, but he needed to, well, cool down. “Tell me what’s going through your head right now,” he said to Sam. They needed to talk, or else Sebastian felt he would have to kiss him again.

“‘M pretty much only thinking about you,” Sam said. He was talking into Sebastian’s jacket. Seb’s hands traveled up his back. He felt for the muscles that went up and over Sam’s shoulder blades. Eventually, they found their way up to Sam’s hair. He scratched gently, hands moving up from his neck, into his hair, and back down again. He could feel Sam’s muscles working, his shoulders moving with his breath.

“I’ve wanted this for years.” Sebastian felt like he was giving away part of himself with that confession, but it seemed like the time to put all his cards on the table. “I went away for ages, and I could never feel the same way about anyone else as I do about you.” Although it shouldn’t have been possible, Sam gripped him even more tightly.

Then, Sam released him, moving back just far enough that he could meet Sebastian’s eyes. “Seb,” he said seriously, “we should get out of here.”

“Oh, yeah. Okay.”

“We should keep doing this, but, um, elsewhere. Maybe somewhere with a bed.”

Sam had not been able to hold Sebastian’s hand when they exited the maze, as both of his hands were occupied with the enormous golden pumpkin. It hadn’t felt right to leave the pumpkin behind, but, frankly, he did not know what to do with it. When they arrived at Sebastian’s house, he placed it on the front porch. It would be an unexpected surprise for Robin, Demetrius, and Maru when they arrived home.

The house was quiet, and when they arrived inside, Sebastian pushed Sam against the front door immediately after closing it. He seemed to be lit with a new urgency. He pressed kisses against Sam’s mouth and attempted to pull Sam’s jacket down from his shoulders.

“Seb,” Sam laughed against his mouth, “let’s go to your bedroom, you madman. I don’t want to be here when your mom and Demetrius get home.”

Sebastian made a distressed sound as he kissed Sam’s neck, but he assented. “Fine,” he said, clasping Sam’s hand in his and nearly sprinting down the basement stairs. There, Sebastian and Sam scrambled to shut his door at the same time. Insistently, Seb helped Sam remove his jacket and then his shirt. He pressed kisses against his bare neck, then down his chest, only having to lean down a bit because of their height difference. Sam threw his head back against the door, biting his lip to keep from letting loose a stream of exclamations and expletives.

“I would like to thank your father,” Sebastian said between kisses, “for giving you all of that workout equipment. Bless him.”

“Please,” Sam gasped as Seb moved lower, “no talking about my father. Ew.”

“Sorry,” Seb murmured as he trailed down his midsection.

Sam cupped his chin before he could drop to his knees. “Please, babe,” he said. “ _Bed._ ”

Sebastian rose and planted another kiss on his mouth. “You’re boring.”

“You’re rushing! Plus,” Sam caught him as he turned away and kissed him on the neck, holding his waist with hands pressed under his shirt, “I want to see you.” His voice dropped lower as he helped Sebastian remove his shirt. They removed more clothing and finally made it to the bed, hindered by their pauses to languish kisses over newly uncovered skin.

When Sebastian finally dropped onto the bed, facing up at Sam, Sam climbed over him delicately. “I think about your tattoo all the time,” Sam said. “Ever since that day on the beach. I could write poems about this damn tattoo. I don’t think they’d be very good, but they’d be really passionate.”

Sebastian laughed as Sam traced the tattoos curves with his mouth, giving special attention to the sword and the magic ring. Sam heard Sebastian’s sharp intake of breath. “I’m going to tell everyone that you got a tattoo for me before we even started dating,” Sam joked. “I know why you really got that sword.”

“I hate you,” Sebastian said, although everything about the way he said it made it seem untrue.

“You’re not denying it.”

“No,” Sebastian said. His face was flushed, but Sam suspected it had more to do with their current activities than any sort of embarrassment. “I’m not denying it.”

Sam took a deep breath to steady himself. Of all the things Sebastian could have said, that was probably the sexiest.

“Sam,” Seb said seriously. “We can do whatever you want tonight, okay? This isn’t my first time with a guy, but I’m guessing it’s yours. I—just—whatever you want, okay? Nothing at all, if you prefer.”

“Earlier,” Sam mused, “were you going to go down on me?”

“Yes,” Sebastian said. He was grinning wickedly. Sam would daydream about that look for the rest of his life.

“Oh—I—um—” Sam stammered. “You don’t have to do that for me. I was just wondering—”

“Sam,” Sebastian growled. “I swear on my life I want nothing more than to go down on you right now. I’m not doing you a favor. This is…” He searched for the words. “This is like all of my fantasies come to life. This is _it._ So if you want me to go down on you, you had _better fucking say yes_ right now, Samson.”

Seb was pushing at his shoulder, trying to switch their positions. Sam went along with it, flipping onto his back. “Okay,” he said simply. “Yes.”

The next morning, Sebastian woke with Sam in his bed. He never wanted to wake up again without him there. However, Seb only had a queen-sized bed in his room, and Sam was a pretty big guy, so he was also curled against the wall with Sam spread out, covering almost the entirety of the bed’s surface.

“Move,” Seb said, prodding him. Sam was in that half-asleep, half-awake state, so he gave an incoherent murmur of assent and rolled toward Seb, pulling him into his arms. Sebastian was not left with any additional space, but he was content to remain there for a while.

“Good morning,” Sam rumbled in his ear. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“You’re a dork,” Seb said fondly, leaning back into him.

Sam was tracing shapes into Sebastian’s back, and it felt like a gentle massage. He was waking up more fully now. “It’s been ages since I wasn’t at home to tell Vincent good morning,” Sam said somberly. “I’ll miss that today.”

Before Seb could respond, Sam tilted his chin toward him. He gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. “But on the other hand,” Sam said, “I get to see you first thing. So I guess that’s a decent trade-off.”

Sebastian leaned back into Sam, content to remain boneless and languid for the time being. “We didn’t talk much yesterday,” he said. “You know, I spent years thinking you were straight, but I guess, um, you aren’t.

“A couple of years ago,” Sam started, “I didn’t know what was up with me. I was worried because it was pretty rare that I was, like, really attracted to someone. Anyway, I did a lot of Googling and a lot of thinking, and I figured out then that I was probably demisexual. I only felt attracted to people after I had really fallen head over heels for them, you know? So with you, when I realized how much I wanted you, it was kind of, um, easy. Because I don’t feel this way about just anyone. But it’s the easiest thing in the world for me to feel this way about you. Anyway, to answer your question, I think I’m bi and demisexual. I told my dad yesterday that I was attracted to guys. I think he, um, knows about us.”

Sebastian was shocked to receive such a monologue from Sam, who seemed to feel things very deeply but struggled to put them into words. “Oh. Wow, Sam.”

Sam hummed in contentment, pressing a kiss to the top of Seb’s shoulder. “I hope it’s okay with you that I told him I had feelings for you. I don’t really care if the whole town knows.”

Sebastian chuckled. “I’m fine with it if the whole town knows. In fact, I feel like the entire town will know by about noon. Gossip spreads fast here.”

“No worries,” Sam said.

“No worries,” Sebastian repeated, his head pillowed against Sam’s chest. “And to think, I spent years jealous of that girl you dated a few years ago.”

“Oh, Kelly?”

“ _Kelly_ ,” Sebastian repeated. Upon seeing Sam’s confusion, he explained, “Neither Abby nor I could remember her name. Oops.”

Sam shook his head, laughing. “She was a sweet girl. Never felt the same way about her as I do about you.” He said it so matter-of-factly. Seb felt his cheeks redden.

“You’re, well, you’re my first real relationship, Sam,” Seb admitted. “I mean… I’m assuming you want to date me.” _Please, please, want to date me._

Sam squeezed him. “Want to date you is an understatement.”

“Liam would make fun of me because I was never even open to dating other guys,” Sebastian said.

“You’re my first real relationship, too,” Sam said. “And I think it’ll be a damn good one.” He paused, chewing on his lip. “I’ve got a confession to make. I’m scared for you to move to the city.”

Sebastian finally turned more fully, adjusting his position so that he could look at Sam face-to-face. “Sam,” he said. “I could turn down the position. I make good money freelancing. Honestly, when I told you, I just wanted you to tell me to stay.”

“Okay,” Sam said. “Stay.” It was as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

“I’ll stay,” Sebastian agreed, “with you.”

One Month Later

The motorcycle was loud. Loud enough that Sebastian was practicing as he drove Sam to the city. “I love you,” he muttered, the sound covered by the roar of the engine. “I love you.” He’d had a lifetime of practice loving Sam, but he hadn’t told him yet.

Sam was pressed against his back, holding him tight as they raced toward Zuzu City. Today also marked more firsts—the first time Sam had agreed to ride Seb’s motorcycle. He had always eyed it with distrust, but today, he had agreed in anticipation. He would be getting his first tattoo. When he’d tossed the idea out to Seb, he had reacted enthusiastically, volunteering to get him in touch with his artist in the city.

They arrived. Seb rolled to a stop in front of the tattoo parlor. Sam removed his helmet, raking his fingers through his hair. He smiled at Seb. “Were you talking? On the motorcycle?” he asked. “I swear I thought I felt you saying something.” He tickled Seb gently over his sternum, as if to indicate where they had been touching.

Seb swatted his hand away. “It must have just been the wind.”

Inside the tattoo parlor, Seb sat with Sam. He was having a tattoo done at the top of his ribcage, which Sebastian knew was painful. He squeezed Seb’s hand throughout the whole ordeal, and Seb hoped he didn’t crush any of the fragile bones. Still, Seb patted Sam’s tense hand with his free one reassuringly once in a while. “It looks great,” he assured him periodically, as if to communicate that the painful experience was totally worth it.

Sam sat up when he was finished, and the artist handed him a mirror. _LIGHT HEARTED_ , said the next across his side, one word atop the other. When Sebastian had asked him what it meant, Sam had responded, “I don’t know. A few things. A reminder, a description.”

Seb had agreed that it felt right. Sam had bothered his mother to write the words in her handwriting. Jodi had been hesitant, unsure about the idea of a tattoo, but she had relented eventually. The tattoo artist had replicated it precisely.

“I really love it,” Sebastian had said. The tattoo artist had left them alone for a moment.

“I really love you,” Sam replied. It came out so simply, an easy truth.

Seb spluttered. “Hey! I was going to tell you that today!”

“Beat you to the punch.” Sam was grinning. “But you can still say it. I won’t stop you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: I started writing this fic before the 1.5 update, and Liam's name used to be Leo. Changes had to be made.


End file.
